Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Chapter 25

About a week later I was allowed to leave the hospital. I had started the chemo after the surgery proved that the tumor was in fact malignant, and felt pretty weak. I stayed in bed or on the couch most days just because I was too weak and tired to move much. Even so I was coping and the girls and Sidney were enormous helps.

Thankfully the Penguins were home the entire second half of March so Sidney was always around taking care of me. Having him hold my hair while I threw up wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I thought about spending time with him, but there was no way around it.

“Hey, babe, how are you feeling?” Sidney asked walking into the living room after a practice. I shrugged.

“I’m having a decent day,” I told him. He sat down next to me and kissed me.

“I’ve got some news. I’m not sure how you’ll take it,” he cautioned.

“What’s going on?” I asked nervously.

“My family is coming in tomorrow for the games this weekend. They want to meet you if you feel up to it.”

I sat in silence for a few minutes. His family is coming and they wanted to meet me now? I was throwing up like crazy, I could barely sit up for more than a few minutes, and this was the time when they wanted to meet me? I didn’t feel up to it at all, but I knew I didn't have much of a choice.

“I can do my best,” I told him. He smiled and put his arm around me, pulling me into him.

“I thought maybe you could just come stay with me for the weekend. I’ll pick you up after the game tomorrow night so that you can spend Saturday with us on your own terms. Then you could have brunch with us Sunday before the afternoon game.”

He’d thought it out. He’d obviously thought about what would make me most comfortable and I loved him for that. I thought about it for a minute and didn’t see any reason why it wouldn’t work. Obviously this wasn’t the ideal situation to meet anyone’s family, but I couldn’t do much about that.

“Sure, sounds good.” He smiled and kissed me again. We stayed on the couch watching TV for a few hours before he left for dinner.

The next night I sat in the living room watching the game with the girls. I’d tried to convince Grace and Hailey to go, but they insisted on staying with me. I already had a bag packed by the time the game started. Thankfully the Pens won so I knew that Sid would be in a good mood.

I checked my reflection in the mirror and frowned at what I saw. I was pale and fragile looking. There were bags under my eyes showing how exhausted I was pretty much all the time. I’d thrown my hair into a ponytail because it looked lifeless. I shook my head and walked back out to the living room to wait for Sidney.

He came a while later to pick me up. He told me that he’d already informed his family that they were going to have to wait until tomorrow to meet me because I’d probably be tired. I was grateful for that and got into bed as soon as we were in his room. I woke up the next morning when his alarm went off.

“Do you feel up to coming down for some breakfast?” he asked.

I smiled and nodded. I didn’t bother changing out of my sweatpants and t-shirt to go downstairs. They were just going to have to understand that I was too tired to put any effort into what I looked like. I could hear voices in the kitchen before we made our way in. I saw Sid’s parents leaning against a counter talking to Mario and Nathalie. They all looked over and smiled when they saw us enter the room.

“Mom, Dad, this is Tanner,” Sidney introduced us. They walked over to me and I shook their hands.

“It’s really nice to meet you both,” I said.

“And it’s really nice to finally meet you. Sid talks about you all the time,” Trina returned with a genuine smile on her face.

“It’s the first time anything or anyone has ever been talked about more than hockey,” Troy said with a laugh. I smiled and turned to look at Sid while playfully elbowing him.

“I’ve made some waffles with some fresh fruit and whipped cream to put on top if you’re interested,” Nathalie offered. I didn’t have much of an appetite these days, but those were the magic words.

“I would love some. It’s my favorite breakfast,” I told her, my smile growing.

“That’s what Sidney said,” she replied, winking and handing me a plate.

I put a waffle on the plate and topped it with fresh strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, and some whipped cream. Everyone else grabbed some breakfast and we made our way into the dining room. The conversation was good as we ate, and his parents apologized for Taylor sleeping in. When Sidney got ready to leave for practice I went upstairs to get some more sleep.

I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. I was asleep for a while before I woke up to a familiar feeling. I rushed into the bathroom and leaned over the toilet. I was so busy getting sick that I didn’t hear the footsteps enter the room. It wasn’t until I felt someone tying my hair back that I realized anyone was in there with me. I looked up and saw Trina standing behind me.
“Sorry if I’m intruding, but I just came to see if you wanted any lunch and heard you getting sick,” she apologized as she filled a glass with water and grabbed a towel.

“No, it’s okay. I’m sorry you had to come in during this,” I apologized back taking the towel from her and wiping the tears from my eyes. I took the water next and rinsed my mouth out.

“I really was looking forward to meeting you. I’m just sorry that it has to be under these circumstances. Life just isn’t fair sometimes.” I flushed the toilet and Trina helped me up.

“If it hadn’t been me, it would have been somebody else,” I told her with a shrug.

“That doesn’t mean I have to like it. I just can’t believe a sweet girl like you has had to endure what you have the last few months. I don’t know that I could be as strong as you,” she commented. I smiled.

“It’s not strength, it’s fear. I’m just afraid of not accomplishing everything I’d always hoped to.”

“I don’t believe you’re not strong for a second. Sidney would never be able to fall in love with someone who wasn’t,” she argued.

“He’s an amazing person. You’ve really done an unbelievable job raising him. I’ve never met anyone as sweet, caring, and supportive as Sidney is. In a way, he’s saved my life twice. I just don’t know where I’d be without him.” She smiled at me.

“So how about that lunch?” she asked.

I nodded and followed her downstairs. Mario was at the rink so it was Trina, Troy, Lauren, Nathalie, and I having lunch together. Conversation came easily and I found myself really starting to like Sid’s family. I’d been nervous, never having met a boyfriend’s family before, but I felt pretty comfortable around them.

While everyone else settled on what to me looked like a gourmet lunch I picked at a salad. My stomach still wasn’t feeling great, but I knew it was best to have something in it just in case. When lunch was finished I was kicked out of the kitchen and told to just go relax and watch some TV. I settled into a couch and Troy came in a minute later.

“What are you watching?” he asked sitting down on a chair next to me. I shrugged.

“I’m not really a big fan of afternoon TV. Did you want to watch something?” I offered. He shook his head.

“I’m not a big TV person.”

I nodded and just turned the television off. I had a feeling Troy had followed me in here to talk. I felt my stomach start to churn a bit and wasn’t sure if it was because I was still feeling sick, or if I was nervous about what he wanted to say.

“You know, Tanner, I have to admit that I was a little nervous about this relationship when Sidney first started talking about you at the beginning of the season.” Uh-oh, was this going to go where I thought it was? Was he about to tell me I was bad for Sidney? “You have to understand all the sacrifices Sidney has made to make it where he is now. As his father I don’t want to see anything happen to ruin what he’s worked so hard for.”

I took a deep breath and didn’t say anything. I didn’t know exactly what to say. Instead I just waited for Troy to continue. I hadn’t gotten the feeling that Troy didn’t like me either time I’d been around him, but maybe I’d been wrong.

“Honestly, I was thrilled when you and Sidney broke things off in December,” he continued.

“You were happy about that?” I asked in horror. Had he really just told me that? He nodded.

“I was. Not because you two broke up, but because I saw that you weren’t in the relationship for Sid’s status and money. When you found out the truth about him and got angry instead of getting excited I knew that you weren’t someone I would have to worry about,” he said with a smile. I smiled too as I felt all the tension start to leave my body.

“I could care less about all that stuff. All I’ve ever wanted was to be happy.”

“And Sidney makes you happy,” he finished. I nodded. “I can tell. I really am very sorry for everything you’ve had to go through in the last few months. I’ve seen what it’s done to my son, so I can only imagine what it’s done to you. It seems to me that you’ve handled everything amazingly and I truly think only a very strong person could do that.”

“Thank you for saying that, but it’s really Sidney that’s the strong one. I couldn’t have made it through everything without him.”

Troy smiled and I felt better knowing that the conversation had certainly not gone the way I thought it would. Just then Trina and Nathalie made their way into the room. Mario came home not long after and joined in the conversation. Taylor and the Lemieux kids came in a little later and grabbed the remote to turn on the TV. I settled in to listen to Sid’s parents tell some highly amusing stories about his childhood.










Sidney walked into the house after practice and could hear laughter coming from the living room. He made his way in that direction and stopped in the entrance. He smiled to himself as he saw Tanner and his mom sitting on a couch, Mario and Nathalie sitting on another, his dad in a chair, and his sister talking with Mario and Nathalie’s kids while watching TV. He could tell that his parents liked Tanner, and he wasn’t surprised. There was no way anyone could dislike her.

“I’m not interrupting, am I?” he asked walking into the room. Everyone looked up at him and smiled, but his eyes were on Tanner. He hadn’t seen her smile like that in a long time.

“Well, sort of. They were just getting to the good stories about you,” she told him with a laugh. He groaned.

“Oh great. Like what?” She giggled.

“Puckchop ring a bell?” she asked raising an eyebrow.

He covered his face with his hands as he sat down on the couch between Tanner and his mom. Puck chop was the way he’d pronounced pork chop when he was a kid. Then when he was given a stuffed pig to play with he’d decided it was a good name since it was for a pig and sounded like a hockey name. Puckchop had been his best friend for years.

“I’m glad I came home now then, before the stories got any worse,” he joked.

They stayed in the living room talking for another hour before he noticed Tanner’s energy beginning to fade. He suggested they go take a nap. She agreed and he helped her upstairs. He pulled her into him and she fell asleep almost immediately.

He placed a kiss on her forehead and stroked her hair. He wasn’t tired, but he’d wanted an excuse to just lay with Tanner for a while. As he watched her sleep he realized that he was going to marry her. It wasn’t going to happen now or even necessarily anytime soon, but he knew it was going to happen.

He let himself think about their future for the first time. Before he’d just expected to have plenty of time to figure it out, but now he wasn’t going to delay anything. He had already been thinking about looking for his own place for next season. Now it was definitely going to happen.

He thought about how he might propose to her someday. He laughed to himself at some of the ideas. The last thing he thought about was what their kids would be like. He’d always known he wanted a family someday, but this was the first time he thought about what it would be like with someone in particular.

He kissed her forehead again as he pulled her as close to him as he could get her. The memory of their day at the zoo flooded his brain. He realized as he thought through the events of that day that he’d fallen in love with her as she watched the polar bears. He smiled to himself and fell asleep as he realized the polar bears had given both of their lives direction.

10 comments:

  1. sigh... I love Sid's parents in this. I would love in-laws, future of course, like that.

    And Sid... Thinking about the future. And of course Puckchop, that was so funny!

    Great Job, keep it up

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  2. I am seriously in love with this story! Another great chapter, keep it up =]

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  3. Beautiful chapter :)
    Sid is so great with her...
    Keep up the work!

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  4. Aww this was adorable! I love that Tanner and Sid's family hit it off so well!

    More soon, please!

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  5. Puckchop was awesome - this was just a great chapter...how sweet is he to her? Loved it!

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  6. okay, so I'd much rather have emailed this, but you don't have your email on your profile.

    I really like this story. I think you're a very good writer and I'm posting this because I want this story to keep being as good as it's been so far (and because it's not that hard to do that). I'm not some psycho who gets off criticizing others... I'm not. I swear.

    I know it's not intended to be taken too seriously, and that it's not real, but that doesn't mean it can't be realistic, right?

    Also, I'm not sure what your familiarity with cancer is. You may be really familiar with the effects (health/social/familial/et c.) and if that's the case, then this may be completely useless info for you, because you'll know a lot of this from personal experience. If you're not, however, a few things to consider/keep in mind:

    1. Generally, you aren't in chemo and radiation at the same time. Usually you do radiation then chemo. Radiation lasts anywhere from a few days to weeks to a couple of months. Chemo can last for six months, longer in some cases.

    2. Chemo makes your hair fall out. All of it. Everywhere. And it usually takes a few months even after chemo’s over to *start* growing back.

    3. Chemo destroys your immune system, so most people are on full-spectrum antibiotics, which destroys the effectiveness birth-control pills. (just something to keep in mind)

    4. Chemo sucks ass. It's kind of dramatic by default. I actually kind of feel like Tanner's getting off easy so far. (then again, she may still just be in radiation, which is not *quite* so horrible)

    5. Cancer is one of those things that either brings families together or destroys them. You seem to be doing to former (hurrah!), but there is ton of potential drama in the latter.

    6. When young people face their own mortality for the first time, they tend to re-act badly. Sometimes the people *surrounding* whoever's mortality is at stake are ones most the most affected by this, not the person fighting for their life.

    7. If doctors anticipate prolonged chemo treatment, they'll give a person a porto-catheter (portocath for short), which is catheter implanted into the patient with a fairly simple surgery. It's done so that injections can be made into one place and the patient doesn't end up looking like a heroin addict with track marks down their arms from all the injections (since chemo's injected into the blood stream in most cases). Having all those punctures from needles is actually pretty painful, and they can bruise horribly, and get infected which is bad (see #3).

    8. The number of doctor's appointments are ludicrous. There's weekly treatment and check-ups and the fact that neurologists never seem to talk to oncologists and no one ever tells the nurses anything, and someone's always going on vacation at the wrong time. And a lot of sitting in waiting rooms when you'd rather just be curled up in bed. You really need someone who's 100% committed to being your chauffeur/best friend/servant. The people who take that on should be canonized.

    9. Pain. Actual, physical pain from being weak and immobile.

    10. The stupid pharmaceutical conflicts that make it impossible to take the kind of analgesics that would take away that pain, because the combination of drug will destroy your [insert any number of vital organs here].

    11.Some people are allergic to opiates (morphine, codeine, et c.) and need to be on dilaudid which is, among other things, one of the drugs they use to help heroin addicts get clean. Dilaudid is a hardcore pain med. It causes hallucinations, of every possible kind (visual, auditory, et c.) and people on it tend to be a little less than lucid.

    12. The fact that Mario Lemieux was able to keep playing hockey while he was in cancer treatment is anomalous; he’s a freak of nature. But we already knew that. Probably didn’t hurt that he was in amazing shape when he got sick. Most people aren’t in that good shape to begin with. Most people deteriorate much more easily, much more quickly. Most people aren’t Mario Lemieux. But we knew that too.


    Sorry this is so long. I just had to get it out there. If it helps even a little, yay! If not, so be it. I'm really interested to see where you take this :)

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  7. Mer, I have pretty much next to nothing as far as experience with cancer goes. I had kind of just planned on leaving most things out and only dealing with a couple of the more obvious things (losing the hair, being sick all the time, pain). Good to know about the radiation/chemo thing. I'll change a few things. I tried to do a little research, but I'm not one for spending hours looking things up for a fictional story, haha. I'm lazy, what can I say? Research makes my brain hurt.

    Anyway, thanks for the info. I never mind any help. Not knowing a lot was the reason for my preface. I didn't know how early on or how late certain reactions to the treatment took and really didn't want to offend anyone who may have had experiences.

    Thanks again!

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  8. Thanks for not taking it as criticism or anything :) Research takes forever, and yeah, for something like this that's fun... not worth it.

    When I write, I go into psycho-research-mode, but I realized, even as I was commenting that half the stuff I wrote is stuff you won't find on too many websites. It's mostly stuff you learn dealing with it first or second hand.

    If you have any random questions or anything, my email's in my profile. Happy writing :)


    oh, and something that I forgot to mention: chemotherapy can cause women to go into early menopause. The younger you are, the less your chances of this happening are, but it's something to keep in mind because the more aggressive the treatment, the more likely it is to happen.

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  9. That was a great chapter. I'm glad Sidney's parents are so accepting of her. I thought the moment between Troy and Tanner was perfect. And I really liked the way you went about it, making her expect the worse. Oh, and Puckchop was a nice touch, lol. You're an amazing writer!

    The one thing I love about this story more than anything is Sid's role in it. It's just so much different than in any other story and so meaningful. It portrays him in a completely different light, and I think that's one of the many things that makes the story so great.

    Can't wait for the next update! :)

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  10. Great chapter!
    I'm glad that Sid's family gets along well with Tanner.

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