Chapter 22

To be honest, Sidney hadn’t been all that concerned when Tanner had told him she wasn’t feeling well. He figured she had a cold or the flu and wished he could take care of her, but that was where the concern stopped. When he went over after his road trip, she didn’t look very sick, and any worry he did have had disappeared.

When she woke up the next morning and threw up he thought his assumption was right, and she had the flu. He’d had to keep from laughing at her when she asked him to bring her to the hospital. He figured she was just being overdramatic even though he’d never known her to be like that at any other time.

As they sat in the waiting room after checking in, he suddenly felt a stab of fear. She was tired, had a headache, and threw up in the morning. Was Tanner pregnant? He let his mind wander a bit trying to get the balls to ask her if that’s what she thought it was before he realized that there was no way. They’d only slept together once since the accident and it had been a week ago. There was just no way she’d be sick like this that fast, right?

He pushed the thought out of his mind and followed her into the exam room. When the doctor came in he listened to Tanner explain the circumstances surrounding the accident and asked if what was going on could be related to that. The doctor said he wasn’t sure and put her through some tests. Sidney watched the doctor test her balance, memory, and all of her senses. He made a mental note to tell her how cute she looked standing on one foot.

He figured the doctor would prescribe some sort of medication and they’d be able to go home, but that’s not what happened. The idea that absolutely nothing was wrong with Tanner started to fade when the doctor ordered some tests. She’d tried to convince him to leave, saying she’d call him when they were done, but he wasn’t going to leave her side.

He sat next to her and held her hand when it was time for the Lumbar puncture. He’d never had one, but he knew they were painful. Tanner was curled up in a ball during the procedure. She avoided his eyes and chose to stare at the ground. He saw her clench her jaw and could feel her hand tighten around his, but she never made a sound or shed a tear even though he could see in her eyes that she was in pain.

He got food for the both of them as they waited on the results. After, Tanner fell asleep. That was when the doctors decided to do an MRI. They weren’t telling them anything and Sidney then became worried. If there wasn’t something wrong they wouldn’t need to keep doing tests, and they’d tell them something.

The MRI was done and Tanner fell asleep again. He watched her sleep and ran a hand through her hair. He just wanted to know what it was so they could fix it. Not long after Tanner woke up a doctor came in and told them that they knew what was wrong. Sidney listened intently at the explanation. His heart stopped and he felt like someone had just punched him in the stomach. He couldn’t breathe. This could not be happening.










I stared at the door after the doctor left. I don’t know how long I stared at it, but eventually it became blurry as tears filled my eyes. I sat in silence processing the information and Sidney didn’t say a word. The doctor had told me one of the nurses would call my parents to let them know. I wiped tears from my face as I replayed the conversation in my head.

“We found a tumor in your brain. Thankfully it’s not very big and is in a location where we’ll be able to remove it completely,” he had said.

“You’re going to have to cut into my skull and remove a tumor from my brain?” I asked. The doctor nodded. “And then I’ll be fine, right?”

“Well, there were some results from the Lumbar puncture that worried us. We found some cancerous cells. The tumor is most likely malignant.” My breath caught in my throat as I processed that information.

“I have cancer?” The doctor explained a few more things, but I didn’t hear him. How could this be happening? Hadn’t I been through enough in the past few months?

“Tanner, are you okay?” I heard Sidney ask, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Of course I’m not okay. I have brain cancer!” I yelled at him.

He was silent and I felt bad for yelling at him. It wasn’t his fault. I pulled my hand out of his and put my face in my hands. My whole body shook as I cried. I felt the bed shift and then I was pulled into Sidney’s arms. I wrapped my arms around him and cried into his shoulder. I’m not sure how long we were like that.

A while later a nurse came in telling me they were moving me to a room outside of the ER. Despite my protests I was forced into a wheelchair as they moved me to a different floor. When we got to the new room I settled into the bed and stared up at the ceiling in silence. A few hours later my parents made their way into the room. I hated that the only time they’d seen Sidney was in a hospital room and I began to wonder if that would ever change.

The doctor returned and he explained that they wanted to be aggressive with the treatments. They’d scheduled me for surgery the next morning to remove the tumor. Then they were going to schedule me for chemo once they were positive that the tumor was malignant. He was convinced that they’d caught it early if it was.

I convinced my parents and Sidney to leave the hospital, telling them that I needed some time alone. They didn’t fight me on that and said they’d be back later. While they were gone I stared at the wall as tears fell down my cheeks. I was going to die. I knew it right then that I was going to die.