Chapter 37

So, I know there's only one song on the playlist right now, but it's the song that inspired the story. I'll add more as I go when one strikes me. Fair warning though, I have a pretty wide range of tastes so you may end up listening to songs ranging from pop, 80's, 90's, country and metal, haha. I never know what I'll be in the mood for!










I woke up the next morning and made a face when I saw that I was alone in my bed. I knew Sidney had been there when I’d fallen asleep, but I wasn’t sure if he’d stayed the whole night or not. That question was answered when I heard people talking. I pushed myself out of bed and opened my bedroom door, still feeling awful from the day before. The voices were coming from the living room. All four of my housemates and Sidney were in there. I paused just out of view and began to listen when I heard my name.

“The stuff people are saying is awful!” Kelly exclaimed.

“I’m going to take care of it today,” Sidney assured her.

“Have you even seen or heard what they’re saying about Tanner? Nothing you do is going to make any of that okay,” Lisa told him. People were talking about me? Great.

“They’re saying she’s hideous looking. She has fucking cancer! Seriously, who’s stunning while they go through chemo?” Grace complained. I winced. Hideous? Really?

“They’re also calling her bulimic. We’ve all seen how much weight she’s lost because of this and she was skinny before. Now with those pictures from yesterday out people are all over her about her weight,” Hailey added.

“Here’s a nice quote. ‘She must have seen the unexpected cameras and panicked about those extra 10 pounds they add on. She made herself throw up right there so the piece of lettuce she ate for lunch didn’t settle on her thighs.’ Fucking bitch,” Kelly muttered.

“Whoever released those pictures should be shot,” Lisa chimed in.

“It’s bad, I know. I’ll figure something out. Unfortunately I don’t think I have any choice but to tell people about the cancer. All I know is that this stops now. She doesn’t deserve this,” Sidney told them.

“What are you going to do?” Grace asked.

“I don’t know. Right now there are newspaper and TV reporters calling, but they all want to talk to Tanner. I just can’t let that happen.”

“I’ll do it,” I said as I came around the corner. The five of them looked up at me in surprise. Sidney jumped up from his spot on the couch and made his way over to me.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, concern evident in his voice.

“I was okay until I heard all that. People are really that mean?” I asked looking towards the girls.

“Those people are assholes. They have no idea what’s going on,” Hailey tried to reassure me. It didn’t work. I was already hurt.

“She’s right. We’ll figure something out. You don’t have to do anything. I’ll take care of it,” Sidney said placing a kiss on my forehead.

“No, I have to do it. This whole thing is about me. Just tell me what I have to do.”

“Tanner, I don’t know.” I could see him looking at my appearance. I hadn't looked in a mirror, but I was sure I didn't look like I was up for anything.

“We’re leaving in a couple of days. Shouldn’t we do it now, when we’re heading out of town and can avoid most of the follow up rather than later when we’re both stuck in town?” He looked at me like he was torn between allowing me to and telling me no. “Do you see my face? You know what it means. Don’t try to argue.” He sighed, but knew that I was set on doing it.

“I’ll call Pat.” He left the room to make the phone call and I ran into the bathroom as a wave of nausea hit me.










“Are you sure you want to do this?” Sidney asked Tanner. She was pale and had been sick all day, just like the previous few. It had been a tough week for her. She nodded and he sighed as he helped her out of the car.

Pat had set up an interview with one of the news stations in town. He’d said it was the most trusted one and they were getting the exclusive interview with both Sidney and Tanner. It had been short notice, but Heather Sullivan had dropped everything to land the interview. Now it was just a day since the phone call was made and they were walking into the station’s headquarters. The interview would be played on the evening news the next day.

Sidney glanced over at Tanner, who was grimacing in pain and taking deep calculated breaths to try to minimize that pain. He thought about asking her if she wanted to delay it one more time, but decided against it. When she put her mind to something, it was next to impossible to change it. Instead he continued to walk with his arm around her to support her and moved at her slow pace.

“Hi, we’re here to see Heather Sullivan. She’s expecting us,” Sidney said to the receptionist at the desk. Another glance at Tanner showed him that her eyes were tightly shut. He noticed that she seemed to have a death grip on the edge of the desk in front of her.

“Of course, Mr. Crosby. I’ll let her know you’re here,” the woman said.

Sidney thanked her and guided Tanner to some chairs along the window. She collapsed down into one and he chose one next to her. She laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes again. She was exhausted, and he knew it. He hated that she was here doing this interview instead of being home in bed like she should be.

“Sidney, how are you?” he heard a female voice ask. He looked up to see Heather walking towards them. He’d met her numerous times so he didn’t mind the informality.

“Good, thanks,” he replied. He stood up and then helped Tanner get to her feet.

“You must be Tanner Falco. It’s very nice to meet you,” Heather said in greeting. She held out her hand to Tanner. Tanner gave Heather her hand. He watched her wince in pain at the handshake.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” she responded, putting a smile he knew she didn’t feel on her face.

Sidney noticed Heather giving Tanner a strange look. He was almost positive that when Pat had set up the interview he hadn’t told her about Tanner’s cancer. She was probably trying to figure out what was wrong. She gave another smile before beginning to tell them how happy she was that they’d chosen her for the interview. She had started walking down a hallway and they began to follow her.

“We have everything set up in a conference room just around the corner. It’s just going to be me and a couple of my cameramen in the room with us, so it won’t be a big production,” Heather explained.

“Is there a restroom nearby?” Tanner interrupted. Sidney looked over at her and saw her pale complexion paling even more. She was going to be sick again.

“Um, yes, just two doors down, on the right,” Heather responded. Tanner pulled away from him and made her way to the bathroom. Heather turned towards him and gave him an uncertain smile.

“I take it Pat didn’t explain the situation to you,” he said to her.

“The situation? Is she okay?” Heather asked worriedly, glancing back towards the bathroom door.

“Tanner has cancer. She’s in the middle of chemo,” he told her. Her eyes widened in surprise at the news.










I rested my head on the arm that I had thrown over the toilet. I was tired and almost didn’t even have the energy to get back up. I took a minute to make sure that I wasn’t going to be sick again, and then pulled myself up. I made my way to the sink where I washed my hands. Then I pulled out the toothbrush and toothpaste I now carried with me everywhere I went and brushed my teeth.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror and sighed. There was no color in my face, there were bags under my eyes, and popped blood vessels in my cheeks from the force of throwing up. I let myself be angry that a stupid story in the newspaper about Sidney had forced me into the position to do an interview on short notice on a day when I felt like I was going to die. The anger only lasted for a minute. It seemed I was too tired for feelings today too.

I made my way out of the bathroom and back to where Sidney and Heather were standing and talking. She smiled at me sadly, and I knew that Sid had told her about the cancer. I assured them both that I was as okay as I was going to be and we finished the walk to the conference room for the interview.

The next day I laid curled up on the couch wrapped in an afghan my mother had knitted for me when I was a little girl. I smiled at the conversation going on around me. It was a full house tonight. Sidney was sitting on the couch with me, my legs in his lap. He was absentmindedly rubbing my left foot as he talked with Jordan who was in the chair with Grace sitting on his lap. Ryan and Hailey were sprawled out on the floor, their legs intertwined. The other two girls were sitting wherever they could find space.

We had the TV on the channel the interview would be played on. When the news started, all conversation halted and I took a deep breath. I was nervous about how it had turned out. I only half paid attention to the rest of the news and felt my heart quicken when it was announced that the exclusive interview with Sidney Crosby and his girlfriend would be coming up after the break. As promised it was the first clip after the commercials.

The introduction started by stating my name, age, and the fact that I was a student at Duquesne. They flashed a couple of pictures of me that they had asked for while they did that. The difference between how I looked in the pictures and how I looked during the interview was remarkable. I didn’t even look like the same person.

The beginning of the interview started with Sidney and I explaining how we had met. The two of us laughed on camera as we remembered Andrew introducing us and how embarrassed I’d been. Then we talked about the fight that had put our relationship on hold and the accident that had put me in the coma. Then we talked about finding out about the cancer and how we’d both reacted to the news.

“It’s been a really tough past few months for you. How do you feel when you look back on them?” Heather asked. I felt Sidney squeeze my leg lightly at this part.

“Lucky. I feel lucky,” I’d responded. On the TV you could see Sidney react with surprise as he turned to look over at me.

“Really? Lucky? How so?” she’d asked.

“Well, if Andrew had never pulled Sidney off of that bus, I never would have met him. If I hadn’t met Sidney, we never would have had that fight. With no fight, I wouldn’t have been avoiding his game on the television and gone to the library to study. If I hadn’t gone to the library, I never would have been in the accident. I wouldn't have been in a coma if I hadn't been in the accident and if I hadn’t been in the coma I wouldn’t have gone to the hospital immediately when I started to get sick. I would have put it off as long as possible. If I’d done that then who knows how big the tumor would have been, or how advanced the cancer would be. Maybe instead of having the hopeful prognosis that I have, I’d be saying goodbye to the people that I love.”

“I can definitely see how you could look at it that way.”

“It’s not even just that. I can honestly say that in my mind Sidney has saved my life. I owe him for giving me a future I may not have had otherwise. I’m lucky because I have him.”

At that point of the interview Sidney had leaned over and placed a kiss on my forehead. He was smiling ear to ear and I had turned to smile back at him. The segment ended after a closing statement by Heather and I released a slow breath. It hadn’t been too bad. Now the truth was out there.

“Good God, you two make me sick,” Ryan cracked as the news went to commercial.

“Hey!” Sidney protested.

“He’s right. I wanted to vomit watching that,” Hailey joked.

“I thought it was kind of cute,” Grace threw in.

“You would,” Jordan groaned, playfully shoving her off of his lap. Just then my phone went off simultaneously with Sidney’s. I looked at my text and smiled. I saw Sidney smile too.

“What does yours say?” Sidney asked, looking over at me.

“'You guys are adorable!’ It’s from Vero. How about yours?” I returned.

“'Jesus, Crosby. Could you gay it up a little more?’ That’s from Flower,” he responded. The room laughed.

Ryan and Hailey volunteered to run out and grab dinner. Jordan and Grace ended up having to take another car due to the various requests ranging from chinese, to pizza, to burgers. Sidney and I remained at the house with Kelly and Lisa who had gotten up to get out plates and napkins for everyone.

"How do you feel?" he asked me, pulling me into him.

"Relieved. I feel relieved. Now people can hate me for who I really am," I joked. He rolled his eyes and kissed me. Suddenly now that our relationship was out in the open, I didn't care what people thought about us anymore.