Chapter 35

I stayed in bed longer than normal staring up at the ceiling. I didn’t feel any better than I had the day before when I’d seen the article. Today was the day Sidney was going to tell the press about me. He was probably doing it right now. He’d had to go back to the rink along with a bunch of the other guys for physicals.

I knew the reporters would be out there waiting to ask him who all the girls were. How stupid they were all going to feel when they found out the truth. Sorry, guys, but it’s not multiple girls, it’s just one with brain cancer. I almost wanted to be there to see the looks on their faces when they heard the truth and realized what assholes they were.

“You are not seriously cooking bacon in the house right now,” I said glaring at Lisa as I walked into the kitchen.

“Oh, come off it, Tanner. It’s good. Want some?” she asked holding up a raw piece. I nearly gagged. I hated everything about bacon, but the smell was by far the worst.

“You’re disgusting,” I said making a face and grabbing a yogurt out of the refrigerator.

“Have you heard anything yet?” Hailey asked walking into the kitchen. She grabbed a piece of bacon out of the skillet and started to eat it. What was wrong with these people?

“No, but I don’t know when Sid’s supposed to be done with the physical and everything,” I explained. I poured some granola into my yogurt and tried to ignore the stink overtaking the kitchen.

“It’ll be fine, Tan,” Lisa tried to assure me.

“It’s just not how I pictured this happening, you know?” They both nodded at me sympathetically. “Okay, I need to get out of here. I’m going to throw up and for the first time it’s not going to be because of the chemo.”

“But it’s so good!” Hailey called after me as I walked into the living room. There was a knock on the door about an hour later and I jumped up to get it.

“How did everything go?” I asked Sid. He smiled and kissed me.

“It went,” he replied as I shut the door behind him.

“That doesn’t sound very encouraging.”

“It was fine, really. I didn’t go into too much detail. I pretended I was in a rush to get out. Of course everyone was asking me about who all the girls were. I just said all of them were my girlfriend Tanner. Someone else asked if it was just one girl, how come you always had different hair. I told them they were wigs. Then I got in my car and left.”

“So you didn’t mention the cancer,” I said more to myself than to him.

“No, I didn’t. I didn’t think it was necessary.” I smiled at him and curled up next to him on the couch.

“Thank you.” He turned his head and kissed me. “Is it possible to talk right now?” He sighed, knowing exactly what was coming.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he said. I took a deep breath and tried to organize my thoughts in my head before saying anything.

“I told you back before we even started dating that I’m a very independent person. Unfortunately for most of our relationship I’ve had to rely on other people. First it was the rehab for my hip and now the cancer. While that hasn’t changed anyone else’s opinions of me, you’ve never really gotten to see the independent me.”

“Tanner, I know that you’re independent. It’s something I’ve always loved about you.”

“Except that you’ve taken the last six months for granted. I’ve needed your help, and needed to rely on you and I think you just assume that’s how it’s always going to be. It’s not. As soon as I get healthy, and I will, I’m going to go back to doing what I want to do when I want to do it.”

“And I want you to.”

“Good, because I’m not going to be at every home game and I won’t always be home after losses. I have one more semester of school left and graduating is going to be my first priority, not comforting you after a bad game. I’m going to go to the zoo and hopefully get that job. It’s going to mean early mornings, late nights, and travel. You’re going to have to accept that I have those responsibilities just like I accept that you have obligations as well.”

“I want you to have all that. I really never intended on making you feel like I wanted you to be some doormat whose entire life depended on me.”

“I hope you mean that. I’m going to say no to you, probably more than you’ll want to hear. Other girls are going to be able to do things that I won’t. If you want to be with me, you’re going to have to accept that. If I have to be understanding of your life, you have to be understanding of mine. If you don’t think you can handle that, then please leave now. It’ll only hurt worse if you drag it out.” I took a deep breath and waited for his response.

“I’m not going anywhere. My life is with you. I love you, Tanner. I can’t even begin to tell you how much.” I smiled up at him.

“Plus, I’m going to come home smelling like bear shit pretty often I’m sure. Think you can handle it?” He laughed.

“I’ll do my best.”

I angled my face up towards his and his lips came down on mine. I was glad that we’d cleared the air. Now that he knew exactly how I felt, he had no excuse to treat me the way he did when he wanted me to fly to Carolina. That was just how I was, and he was going to have to take it or leave it.

I fell asleep in his arms while sitting on the couch with him. I was woken up by the sound of his phone ringing. I shifted off of him while he talked. A few minutes later he hung up and looked over at me.

“Busy next week?” he asked.

“Gee, let me check my schedule,” I joked. He rolled his eyes at me.

“We’re looking at houses. There are four of them we can check out. As long as you still want to.” I smiled up at him.

“I’ve been waiting for this day since you asked me to move in with you.” He smiled back and kissed me. “Now I just wish you weren’t leaving town.”

“It’s just for two days. I’ll be back Sunday night.” I sighed.

“I know, but still. You talk about Colby all the time and I’ve never even met him. I just wish I could go with you. I’ll be here missing you and you’ll forget about me,” I pouted. He placed a kiss on my forehead.

“No, I won’t. You’re with me everywhere I go.” I pulled away from him and made a face.

“Really? Did that seriously just come out of your mouth?” I asked. He laughed.

“I thought it was sweet,” he protested.

“It’s was corny, cliché, and made me want to gag. Don’t ever say anything like that to me again,” I demanded. He laughed again.

“I won’t, I promise.” I smiled and cuddled back up to him.